I have to capture some part of this momentous day: the FIRST day of the year 2012. I don't think I expected for something (the world) to explode as the clock struck midnight, but I don't think I've ever been as sentimental for a new year as I was then; something was different. As I reflected 2011 just like everyone else was doing, I came to the conclusion that I have never been more thankful for a year. It was the biggest, most powerful, stretching year of my life so far. Not that I have a lot of experience under my belt in my twenty short years, but I do believe I'm old enough to conclude that I needed 2011 to make me who I'm supposed to be. And that may be an obvious statement, but I digress.
Last year on this day, I sat at home and watched movies and ate take out with my very best friend. I told her that 2011 was the year I was going on a missions trip, and I did. It was the year I realized why Gianna was my best friend and why she always will be. It was the year my parents accepted that I am not living this life for them or for myself. It was the year I fell in love with Jesus Christ. Really, head-over-heels-all-I-want-is-Him-love. I had so many accomplishments and struggles in the past year that as the ball dropped on the television set, and my friends were sipping their cider and pulling the string out of the bottle poppers, I tried to gather all of my thoughts. I was so incredibly happy to lay down all struggles and burdens, but just because the year ended, doesn't mean all of those obstacles could be put to rest. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm all for the "New Years" spirit of starting over, but I don't want my slate to be wiped clean. Not just yet anyway. I want whatever I learned or took from 2011 to make 2012 that much greater.
Now, as I began to try and carry out this thought of not putting everything entirely to rest, I had to focus on the word "surrender". And to put it simply, I surrender every piece of junk I shouldn't hold onto from the previous year, but I will cling to everything God has given/thrown/challenged me with so that I never forget what He has done to make me who He needs me to be.
As I cleaned the kitchen tonight, I started to sing and eventually become engulfed in the spirit of God. And I know it's not just me, but in those moments, where the Holy Spirit is that evident, I have to take a step back and seek God through any upcoming days, weeks, months, etc. So, here I am back to talking about it being the first day of a new year. I asked God to, of course, take a hold of this year for every aspect of this life, and I asked Him what I needed to do. I will wait for the clarity of whatever answer I may get, but for now I'm okay with a glimpse.
This year, I will not overuse the term "resolutions", because instead, I will focus on everything I am excited for.
- I'm excited for every adventure God will place me in.
- I'm looking forward to the major transitions happening at Bethel Modesto, and also that I get to be there for it all.
- I'm excited for the music that will be written by all the musically talented people I know. This is the year for passionate, wonderful, amazing music.
- I'm excited to see my best friend move forward, but also actually see her again in person. (Until then, Skype will have to do... :))
- I'm excited to get closer with my family, and let them know just how entirely blessed I am to have all of them.
- I'm excited to live in simplicity and humility.
- I'm excited because I get to take a picture that captures a moment of my life every day for the next year!
- I'm looking forward to writing anything and everything.
- I'm way excited to start books to finish them.
"All to You, I surrender; everything, every part of me. All to You, I surrender; all of my dreams, all of me. No turning back, I've made up my mind; I'm giving all of my life this time. Your love makes it worth it all." -Kim Walker
And this is my exit; I'll leave it at those lyrics that have started my New Years off to a thought-provoking, lovely start. I'm also excited to every day start a new, joyous morning with my Lord by giving Him my day from the start, but in the same breath, I will praise and thank Him for everything He has brought me through.